Don't call it a comeback...

Okay, call it a comeback... we've been gone for nearly two years... Oscar is out of therapy and feeling high on life (and a little methamphetamine and Red Bull®)...

Please like us.

"Wrong From the Start" - Peter & Gordon

This was one of the first 45s I owned - a hand-me-down from my brother, I think... I used to play this over and over when I was 6 or 7 or so... loved it. It still makes me quite happy.

We'll be returning soon...

We promise.

"Bonfire"

As promised, here's the final Rhett performance from the recent late-night impromptu one-take dining room sessions. I tried to get a performance of "Here's to the Halcyon" (a personal fave from the new album), but we couldn't find a capo - so he suggested a newer song...  Those of you who have seen Rhett play within the last couple of months have perhaps heard this live - it's a new-ish, unrecorded ballad (tentatively?) titled "Bonfire" - and it's damn purty tune.   Damn purty indeed...

When you're done listening, you can launch an official Old 97's audio player by clicking here.  You're welcome.

11 Questions with... Murry Hammond

"11 Questions with..." sets it's sights today on the Old 97's Murry Hammond... an incredible human, über-Texan, and a brilliant (yes, I said brilliant - damn kids today don't use that word enough anyhow) songwriter seeped in an authenticity unlike anyone I've ever met.  He can move you to tears with a Jimmy Rogers tune one minute, and have you uncontrollably moving to one of dem infectious 60's rock and roll beats he digs so much the next.  He has turned me on to tons of great music, old and new - another pal whose very being makes you want to listen to records.  Oh, and Murry likes trains.  A lot.    

I, along with a lot of folks, have waited (and waited...) for years for Murry to put out a solo record... our patience paid off this year with the release of I Don't Know Where I'm Going But I'm On My Way  - a truly stunning collection of 17 songs about (and I quote) "God, death, loss, trains and hope."  I haven't been able to stop listening to it.  You can stream some tunes from the cd on Murry's MySpace page... You like Nick Drake, the Carter Family, Billy Bragg and Johnny Cash?  You'll love this record. 

Murry now resides in the general LA area, along with his foxy and super talented wife, Grey Delisle, and their son, Tex.  If you've never heard Grey sing, well, I kinda imagine it's what heaven sounds like.  Don't believe me?  Listen up and judge for yourself.  She does other cool stuff too, as you can learn from this fansite.

...Now let's get to grillin' this urban hillbilly and see how he does with Oscar's "11":

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

Pick one, or both:

"Mom said that Antidisestablishmentarianism married her husband, our Uncledisestablishmentarianism, sometime in the 1960's."

...or...

"Oooohh, look at Tommmm (Oscar! - ed.), knows BIG FANCY words like "antidisestablishmentarianism!" You think you're better than me, college boy? Huh? Hey! Look at me! Come back here! *belch* Zzzzzzzzz"

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

It's A Wonderful Life, Seinfeld, Sugar-Frosted Flakes.

3. What book should we be reading?

God's Politics by Jim Wallis.

4. I say tomato, you say...

To freedom!

5. What was your most memorable gig?

I passed out onstage during my own song on July 24, 1999. We had never been on the radio before, either, and people were screaming like we were the Dave Clark Five. Still my favorite show ever.

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

Brian Eno.

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

Anything by Enya. My secret shame.

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

Age 4: Johnny Cash, Live at Folsom Prison, but only had it for a few hours because the folks heard a cuss-word "beeeep" on it, so they exchanged it the next day for Live at San Quentin. I wore that one out.

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

September Gurls by Big Star...

10. Soup or salad?

Salad.

11. "I think, therefore..."

"...I can tune people out like you can't imagine."

11 Questions with... Michael Ward

Today's "11" focuses on none other than celebrated axeman/children's book author/Lance Armstrong groupie, Mr. Michael Ward... That's right folks, he's what Oscar likes to call a "triple threat." Oh, yeah, he's even won a Grammy® - so he thinks he's better than us.

Ward, or "the Warden" as he demands to be called, became a lifelong pal of Oscar's when his band School of Fish were playing on the LA club scene back in a time historians refer to as "the late 80s"... since then he's gone on to wield his mighty six-string as a primary member of The Wallflowers, and for Shelby Lynne, Avril Lavigne, John Hiatt, Gavin Degraw, and, currently, as a member of Ben Harper's Innocent Criminals.

Mike took his second (first?) love, cycling, and figured out a way to use it to profit off children... his first book, Mike and the Bike, became a bona fide kid's book smash (buy it here). His aforementioned pal Lance Armstrong contributed the forward, and voice of the Tour de France Phil Liggett narrates the audio portion. A second volume is in the works, and currently Oscar is in negotiations to perform the part of the villain on the audio disc. We'll keep you posted. I've added a photo at the end of this entry of Ward shamelessly shilling his book, just FYI.

Let's see how Mr. Ward handles the questions:

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

Does this antidisestablishmentarianism make me look fat?

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

The Triplets of Belleville, The Flintstones, Trader Joe's pretzels-stuffed-with-peanut-butter thingy's. WITH SALT!

3. What book should we be reading?

The Road by Cormac McCarthy. You can borrow Oprah's copy. Also, Sex, Lies, and Handlebar Tape, the biography of Tour de France champion Jacques Anquetil.

4. I say tomato, you say...

Run for your lives!!!

5. What was your most memorable gig?

Madison Square Garden? Hollywood Bowl? Playing bass for John Paul Jones, bass player from Led Zeppelin, at Bonnaroo? No. Let's go for Al's Bar, with 5 people in the audience. Character-building.

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

Django Reinhardt. I figure I could show him a few licks. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

Iron Maiden, The Number of the Beast. Unlikely for some, but not for a 41-year-old metal head from Minnesota.

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

Destroyer by KISS. On Cassette from Columbia House. Ask Oscar what that means if you're under forty.

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

Yes. Anything from the list of the top-ten most played songs of all time. Because I like money.

10. Soup or salad?

Salad. I like keeping "regular."

11. "I think, therefore..."

I read Oscar Wednesday's blog every hour, on the hour.

The lights were low but I was lower...

AN OSCAR EXCLUSIVE: Rhett Miller performing "No Baby I" - a track from the Old 97's newest, Blame It On Gravity - recorded on a Wednesday at Oscar Wednesday's. Performed in the wee hours of June 18th, 2008, deep in the Valley of San Fernando, USA. I love this song.

look for a cameo by Merle at the end of the clip, sans wrestling mask...

11 Questions with... Glen Phillips

Today we return to grilling songwriters... and the latest subject is another very old pal: señor Glen Philips.  Glen, as y'all know, started out as the songwriter and voice of Toad the Wet Sprocket - and has since put out a batch of pretty great solo albums...

Glen is one of those songwriters who is in awe of great songs.  I love that.  It's infectious.  He makes you want to listen to records.  

Glen's latest, Secrets of the New Explorers, is pretty fucking amazing.  You can buy it here or go to iTunes... and if you haven't heard his side project with Nickel Creek, Mutual Admiration Society, then get to a-downloading that too... go on, we'll wait here for you...

Glen will be on the road a bunch this summer, either solo or on a few special Toad dates - if you're able, do not miss the chance to see one of this generation's finest tunesmiths.  If you can't make it out, check out these clips of Glen doing a bunch of tunes with Nickel Creek/Punch Brothers' Chris Thile - it's the next best thing.   

...And now let's play cheap psychiatrist with young Mr. Phillips...

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

Only a Papist would ask me to talk about antidisestablishmentarianism.

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo (Where Are You?), Scooby Snacks.

3. What book should we be reading?

The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan.

4. I say tomato, you say...

Salmonella. See above.

5. What was your most memorable gig?

The night I met Nickel Creek, just before their first record came out. They sat in on more than half my set.

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

Bjork.

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

Journey, Escape.

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

The Muppet Movie Soundtrack

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

Facts About Jimmy by Shawn Colvin. Particularly:
I used to get drunk to get my spark
And it used to work just fine
It made me wretched but it gave me heart
I miss Jimmy like I miss my wine

10. Soup or salad?

Soup. No - salad. No - soup. No - salad! Can I have half of each?

11. "I think, therefore..."

I sham.

FINALLY! The Oscar Wednesday Theme Song...

Oscar's blog spot now has a theme! Many thanks to Rhett Miller of the Old 97's. Rhett, I'm not paying you for this... sue me.

Stay tuned in the coming days for a couple of more tunes from this recent "living room session"... the next couple of exclusive tunes to be posted will be acoustic versions of a brand new, never-released track, along with a fave from the 97's newest cd Blame It On Gravity (also available for download on iTunes).  

But until then, rock out to the unrehearsed/one-take/written-while-sung Oscar theme... 33 seconds of pure bliss.

11 Questions with... John Doe

**drumroll, please**

For the latest "11 preguntas" (¿Hablas español?) we are proud to present none other than our pal Mr. John Doe.  Doe, of course, needs no introduction...

But perhaps you do need an introduction to John's latest (and, in Oscar's opinion, best) solo release, A Year In the Wilderness - which is out now on YepRoc.  You can buy it here or download it on iTunes...  Get this fucking record.  Trust me.  ...He got some great folks to contribute to the album as well - Dave Alvin, Jill Sobule, Kathleen Edwards, Dan Auerbach (from The Black Keys), Greg Leisz and Aimee Mann among 'em.

Also, you should grab John's two contributions to the soundtrack of Todd Haynes' recent acclaimed bizarro Dylan (don't call it a biopic) flick I'm Not There.  Definitely worth the two bucks to download them...

We are proud to offer up to our five or six (...and shrinking) loyal readers an insight into the mind of John Fuckin' Doe:

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

Jimmy dragged himself outta bed w/ an antidisestablishmentarianism pounding in his head.

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

Deer Hunter, Dog Whisperer, cheetos

3. What book should we be reading?

Dance, Dance, Dance by Haruki Murakami

4. I say tomato, you say...

"What time is sound check?"

5. What was your most memorable gig?

The Rolling Stones, Baltimore Civic Center 1966

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

Exene Cervenka

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

Hans Christian Anderson w/ Danny Kaye

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

"Singing Across the Land" by Sam Hinton

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

"Over The Rainbow"

10. Soup or salad?

both

11. "I think, therefore..."

yr asking me to fill out this questionable questionnaire!

11 Questions with... Jesse Valenzuela

Today's "11" are answered by none other than one of Oscar's best pals on the planet... Jesse Valenzuela. Jesse, of course, is the songwriting force behind the Gin Blossoms - having wrote of co-wrote many of their hits, producing, and actually singing lead on the odd song or two. He's a pal for 20 years, a neighbor, and an evil comedy genius. He's also a little too fond of Nicolas Cage, but that's another story...

The GB's are constantly on tour - go see 'em when they come through your town. He'll be the Mexican onstage assaulting you with a G chord... buy him a whiskey, he'll love you forever...

Gin Blossoms records are easy to find, but if you haven't heard Jesse's solo "Tunes Young People Will Enjoy" then buy it right now here, or go download it on iTunes. Also check out the Craig Northey/Jesse duo project (aptly titled "Northey/Valenzuela" - very creative guys...), available here...

Tho my usual "good guy" descriptive can easily be applied to Jesse, full disclosure forces me to tell you about the time he made a very WASP-y young woman cry by serenading her with Nick Lowe's "Refrigerator White." She actually kind of had it coming...

And now let's have a peek inside Valenzuela's brain:

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

Antidisestablishmentarianism can be cured with pills and powder.

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

Moby Dick (for obvious reasons), Gilligan’s Island, Red Vines

3. What book should we be reading?

Mother Was A Red. If that's too obscure, how about anything on the Oprah Book list.

4. I say tomato, you say...

Poison Control Center.

5. What was your most memorable gig?

Bosnia for a USO Tour.

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

Nat King Cole.

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

Anything by Neil Diamond.

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

"I Can Help" by Billy Swan.

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

"Don’t Worry Baby," The Beach Boys.

10. Soup or salad?

Steak.

11. "I think, therefore..."

...I drink.

11 Questions with... Jon Auer

Today's "11 Questions" subject is Mr. Jon Auer - he of solo, Posies, and Big Star fame.  Jon is an all-around good chap who I've had the pleasure of knowing for about half my life actually - if only getting to hang out sporadically over these many years.  Geography keeps me from seeing Jon and his goddess of a wife Michelle as much as I would like.  

The Posies recently played some Neumo's shows celebrating their 20 years of existence...  featuring every member, past and present, of every incarnation of the band.  I'm an idiot for missing these shows.  Seriously, I fucking hate that I didn't get to see these gigs.

Aside from the whole "good guy" thing - Mr. Auer is by far one of my favorite singers and songwriters on the planet...  Jon has a couple of amazing solo records out there that are must-owns - you can order them here or download 'em on iTunes.   

But - enough of the bio stuff - you came here for answers, and here are Jon's:

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

Excuse me, could you please pass the antidisestablishmentarianism?

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

Ooh...well, it changes very often, especially favorite movie - but currently: Vertigo, Top Chef, watermelon.

3. What book should we be reading?

It's a toss-up: either Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson.

4. I say tomato, you say...

Tormato. And indeed, by Tormato, I do mean the record by prog rockers Yes. I can only say that it has to be heard to be believed and that even then, once you've taken it in, you probably still won't believe it possible or at very least wish it wasn't so. Mark my words: if you can listen to it in it's entirety without laughing or making the same face Mia Farrow makes at the end of Rosemary's Baby when she realizes her newborn is Satan's spawn, I will personally write you a check for $5.

5. What was your most memorable gig?

Damn, girl - you ask the tough ones. There have been many worth mentioning. I'll pick Atlanta in May 2006 when I played at Centennial Park with Big Star. The line up was De La Soul, Big Star, and the Flaming Lips. One for the books indeed.

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

In my field of dreams, it would probably be Chet Baker. Never was one smoother of sound or more beautifully sad.

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

If you mean a record/cd that most might assume I would never be a huge fan of, I'd have to say Power in Numbers by Jurassic 5. I've listened to it countless times. Dots and Loops by Stereolab falls into this same category.

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

Could it have been the original Saturday Night Fever soundtrack? I sure hope it was.

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

I Am The Cosmos by Chris Bell. I sing it so often I pretend I wrote it anyway. The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground runs a close second.

10. Soup or salad?

The answer of course is sashimi. Get enough sake in me and I even enjoy it raw.

11. "I think, therefore..."

I know better than to answer this question.

11 Questions with... Adam Levy

Today's installment of "11 Questions with..." features none other than Oscar's oldest pal on the planet, Adam Levy. Adam is oft-referenced here at the ol' blog site - we grew up discovering records together, and he's responsible for turning me on to a lot of stuff I wouldn't have heard at that age otherwise. Levy's played with everyone from Norah Jones to Tracy Chapman, Sondre Lerche to Amos Lee, etc - his latest cd, Washing Day, is available for download on iTunes and for sale here or at your friendly neighborhood record shop (at last count there were seven left in North America).

So, I need to make a confession... I really did think this whole "11 Questions" thing was a semi-original idea... that is until I went to Adam's website today and discovered his long-standing "13 Questions" tab. Dammit. So, subconsciously, I probably stole the idea from him. Levy's a good sport tho, and never said anything. And he was the first person approached with the questionnaire, so that alleviates some guilt.

At the bottom of his Q&A segment I've posted a YouTube video of Adam during his recent touring stint with power-pop god Chris Difford... the entire show seems to be up on YouTube - thank God for video camera phones and this whole world wide webs thing. You can find the entire batch of video clips here.

...but first, the questions:

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

I dabbled in antidisestablishmentarianism while at college, but I always missed the taste of bacon.

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

Punch-Drunk Love, The Electric Company, sesame sticks

3. What book should we be reading?

What It Is, by Lynda Barry

4. I say tomato, you say...

Fried green, at the Four-Way Café in Memphis.

5. What was your most memorable gig?

Playing guitar with Norah Jones at the Hollywood Bowl in 2004. Growing up in L.A., I'd revered the Bowl as a temple. And, as it happened, that gig was on the eve of my 20th anniversary high-school reunion. "Oh, you know, really I'd love to be there, but I'm stuck onstage at the Bowl."

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

Ry Cooder.

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

I don't think there's anything in my collection that would be all that surprising. Maybe some avant-garde guitar stuff, like Noel Akchote. More surprising might be what's absent. I'm a late bloomer in so many ways.

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

Mister Rogers - You Are Special

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

"Johnsburg, Illinois" by Tom Waits

10. Soup or salad?

Until they invent Cobb soup, I'll have the salad.

11. "I think, therefore..."

...I worry.

------------------------------------------------

...and, as promised, Levy and Difford performing Squeeze's "Up the Junction":

11 Questions with... Craig Northey

Using the magic of global internet technology we bring you an international chapter in our "11 Questions with..." series - this one with our pal Craig Northey, who lives in a magical, far-off land called "Canada" (pronounced can-a-da).  Canada is located somewhere between Narnia and Iowa.

Craig, of course, is the lead singer of legendary power-pop canucks the Odds.  Recently reformed as The New Odds, the boys have just released a brilliant new record called "Cheerleader" - you can pick it up at your local music retailer (if your town still has a local music retailer) or you can order a copy here.  It's a really, really great record.

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

Antidisestablishmentarianism is really really bad.

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels

3. What book should we be reading?

"How to Read Books" by... um... I can't remember

4. I say tomato, you say...

Salmonella.

5. What was your most memorable gig?

The last one at NXNE in Toronto.  It was just yesterday so it is clear in my memory.  Notables might be Los Angeles, Variety Arts with Zevon in '92.  In Madrid outdoors with Colin James 2006... whole crowd singing the encore.  Opening for Elvis Costello by myself a couple of years ago in Vancouver... what a "prove it" crowd.

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

Too many to list. I will be lost in this fantasy for the next ten minutes. Otis. Nick Lowe. Don DeLillo.

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys. I know it's shit, but I still like it...

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

Beatles "Hey Jude"

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

All of the one's I've written. Other people wrote them before and I just reassembled them..

10. Soup or salad?

Salad.

11. "I think, therefore..."

I get tired.

11 Questions with... Jill Sobule

Today we introduce a new feature to the blog... "11 Questions with..."  We will pick a handful of folks and pose the same 11 questions to 'em...  An exercise in psychology?  Mindless entertainment?  An innovative insight into the creative mind?  Nah, just a concept I saw in a magazine recently and thought I'd steal...

The first victim is songwriter goddess Jill Sobule.  Jill needs no introduction. 

 

1. Use the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" in a sentence.

James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, and proponent of antidestablishmentarianism, has been found guilty of a church and state violation while engaging in illegal bingo and swinger parties on church premisses.

2. Please list your favorite movie, tv show, and snack food.

My Man Godfrey, Mad Men, butterscotch pudding

3. What book should we be reading?

Nixonland by Rick Perlstein

4. I say tomato, you say...

Red Scare!

5. What was your most memorable gig?

Singing a Neil Diamond song honoring him at a Songwriters Hall of Fame Show.  At the end of the evening, I got up with Paul McCartney, Brian Wilson, Bobbie Womack, Carole King, and Neil to sing "Kansas City" - Leiber and Stoller were also honored.  James Taylor was next to me, leaned over and whispered, "can you believe who we are up here with?".  That was very surreal.

6. Who is your fantasy musical collaborator? Living or dead.

Hmmm, maybe Paul, Brian, Bobbie, Carole, Neil and James.  Oh, and Tom Leher.

7. What is the most "unlikely" record/cd that you love?

I love the new one that I just mixed.  I got my fans to pitch in and donate.  Check out Jillsnextrecord.com

8. What was the first record you ever owned?

Hmmm, that's a tough one.  One that I bought myself or one that my big brother or dad got me?  It had to be a Beatles record any which way.

9. Have a song you wish you'd written?

I wish that I had written that "Clang Clang" that plays every other minute on all the Law and Orders.  I bet Mike Post gets paid every time it happens.

10. Soup or salad?

Salad.  And I am not afraid to say I love Iceberg.

11. "I think, therefore..."

a lot of time is wasted.

That's not funny, that's sick

I'm sick.  When I get sick I think about death.  Specifically, my death.  The doctor said it was just a sore throat and slight fever, but WebMD has convinced me that I have contracted SuperAids, the Epstein-Barr virus, and Restless Leg Syndrome.  I don't have a last will and testament.  I need to make a will.  And I should really clean all the crap out from under the bathroom sink.  What if this is the end for Oscar?  "Common cold" my ass... I need to find a new doctor.

The good thing about being sick is I don't have the desire to smoke cigarettes.  I need to stop smoking cigarettes again.  I should write that down.  I need to buy lightbulbs too.

My Tivo® has suddenly decided that I love "Scrubs" - and has taped me about 17 episodes of the wacky sitcom.  Otherwise it's still pretty on track with 400 or so episodes of "Law & Order". 

This album cover always used to make me laugh when I was a kid:

Everything's gonna be all right.

You can't always blog what you want

The kids in ASCAP's rock & roll department have started a new blog... Bloggorythms... take a visit wont you?  There you'll find all the goings-on of this rag-tag band of misfits.  Take a saunter over to learn about ASCAP events, band tips and show recommendations, recipes, workout routines, and, of course, some Hindu spirituality.

Remember, ASCAP loves you.

Between Two Ferns

...Don't call it a comeback.

"mea culpa"

I haven't written a blog in almost a year. I've been very busy. VERY busy. Well maybe not that busy. Maybe a little lazy? Truth told I spent the last eight months traveling through Europe (did I say traveling though Europe? I meant staying home and watching Law & Order).

I have no excuse... I know that I have at least five readers. I would die for them.

My good friend Jenn has started a travel blog... it inspired me to start writing this thing again. Check her blog out and get a travel junkie's insight on various vacation destinations.

In a perfect world I would be filing a missive here at least twice a week. I will try to keep up a more steady pace... and at the very least work a bit harder on getting some more guest columnists.

My name is Oscar Wednesday and I endorse this message. I do not endorse an REO Speedwagon comeback. I apologize if that offends you.

Adam Levy meet everyone... Everyone, this is Adam

Please welcome Adam Levy to the fold... Methinks Mr. Levy may become a semi-regular fixture as a guest columnist in Oscar's world. Adam is a long (long long) time pal, a great little songwriter, and a world class gymnast. I could prattle on and on telling you about Adam - his love of gin and juice, his passion for mid-80s pop/funk (the Deele, anybody?), his unfortunate bout with vegetarianism (he has since been cured, praise Jesus), etc. etc... but let's just hear from the man himself:



I'm a guitar player. You might know me from my work with Norah Jones, or Amos Lee, or Tracy Chapman. Playing guitar is an odd way to make a living, but it's what I do and the job has its perks. Among the perks are the e-mails that friends frequently send me, with jokes about musicians. (Q: How can you tell when the stage is level? A: The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.)

Friends also e-mail me links to entertaining guitar-related YouTube videos. Some of the funniest I've seen, by far, are posted here: http://youtube.com/user/StSanders. These videos feature guitarists known for their hot-shit playing -- guys such as Eric Clapton, Eddie Van Halen, and Steve Vai. The gag is, the dude who posted these clips has dubbed new audio tracks with appallingly bad guitar work, expertly synchronized with the original video. The results range from mildly amusing (Slash) to piss-in-your-pants funny (Jake E. Lee with Ozzy). What makes these work is that they parody the ridiculous culture of guitarist-as-demigod.

Not all of the stuff I get in my Inbox is humorous, though. In fact, someone recently sent me a link to some YouTube clips of my first guitar teacher, Jimmy Wyble. He's 85 and still playing fantastic stuff. Check this out: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FsK2x08i0AI. He's a lovely guitar player and truly unique in his style.

I had a point when I started to write this blog posting. I swear, I did. But now I've lost the thread. Was it that Jake E. Lee is a joke and that old jazz guys are no joke? No, that's not it at all. I just want people who aren't guitar players to be aware of some cool stuff I've found. If you're not a guitar player, nobody's gonna tell you about these things. But I just did.

—Adam Levy

And now for something a little more literary...

In an effort to bring more content - and more enjoyable content at that - to this blog o' mine, I have asked a few friends to contribute now and again...

I am pleased to welcome Canadian Craig Northey as the first to step forward with his lovely thinkpiece, below. It's better than anything I could/would write anyway...

Here is a picture of Craig. He writes great songs, has a lovely family, hangs out with a comedian or two, is a terrific speller, always calls at Christmas, and can't teepee a house worth shit (again, he's Canadian). Go visit him at www.craignorthey.com... tell him Oscar sent you.



DR. DO NOT SO LITTLE

(a Craig Northey Joint)

Dr.Dolittle could talk to the animals and that might be every child's dream. Why was that just doing little?

It was a 10-minute walk to the park. Through the mountainous gray chicken coops and corridors of exhaust in the West End and onto the goose shit covered trail ringing Lost Lagoon. He saw things in these terms. Whatever was good about a place was erased by the dirty commerce at its core and the dandruff on its shoulders. When he got to the Lagoon he had like-minded company in the nasty geese. Branta Canadensis. They talked to him. In truth they were always yelling. That was the one animal in Stanley Park that had truly learned how to push the boundaries. He once saw a goose, dissatisfied with the fact that a toddler had no seed to feed him, push the child into the water. All it took was one bum's rush. Gaggles had become mosh pits. The geese were the old punk rockers of the park and thus were just freeloaders when the commitment to anarchy had been finally neutered. Nihilists still need to eat but working for it is pointless. He guessed that this is what also happened to the hippies. They were back on Howe Street with new Hugo Boss threads, and every once in a while buying "red" products to soothe their battered consciences. Other old hippies lived in the park after dark and worked with only thought fragments, camp stoves and dirty hands. Other hippies hid in the suburbs and quietly invested in R.E.S.P.'s for their children. They drove what they considered to be practical and environmentally responsible cars. They recycled everything that the city told them they were allowed to recycle. They imbued their young with a "more realistic" sense of the democratic process and taught them how to cover their asses. These children of compromise were ten years ahead of the children of old-school punks as they headed into a work force filled with entry-level opportunities. Vancouver coffee shops struggled to find employees.

The man's idealism painfully welled up inside him every morning and he walked to the park to lose himself in "almost nature". He could relate to the animals that were almost wild. He found that, like the urban raccoon, he was living off the pocket change left over from the avails of prostitution. He guessed that the raccoons were far enough along in this evolution that the thought rarely crossed their tiny brains. They did not yearn to be truly wild because this lifestyle kept them alive much longer. Dark-age homo-erectus only lived to the age of thirty-five. Here in Vancouver you could make it to eighty-five through pure, animal cunning and a low stress level. There were free clinics and vitamin enriched food filled the dumpsters behind "the Bread Garden". Stay off the crack and watch your back. He was also almost wild. He and the animals used the illusion of free will to marginally maintain their souls. They could do what they wanted as long as the mulching machine kept leaving scraps on its plough through the jungle.

Today he walked to the heart of the park. Ironically this was the site of the abandoned zoo. As a child his grandparents took him here to watch the penguins swim around in tiny left-hand circles or the polar bears rocking from foot to foot in the ritual repetitive movements so common to anxiety disorders. His grandparents called it "dancing". Here teens could taunt a howler monkey into absolute tantrums or stare down a single clinically depressed Mandrill Baboon through a chain link curtain. The animals that didn't seem too human were still here in the "Amazon" exhibit or the Aquarium. The backlash had been strong enough that a Vancouver compromise had come down. Reptiles, a few birds and all the sea creatures could stay. They had no cute mammalian faces. It was also decided that the whales wouldn't be forced to do tricks on a regular schedule but would appear to do so of their own volition and because of their love for their trainers.

As a child he was most enthralled by the old men and women who sat on the zoo's park benches and had the "wild" animals come to them. There was the "Pigeon Lady" and the "Squirrel Man". Pigeon lady had at least two-dozen birds fluttering and strutting around her at all times. They would land on her shoulders and head and hands. Wherever she held food they would light. At times she almost wore them as clothing. The Squirrel Man would hold out peanuts in the shell and huge gray squirrels would run up, sit up on their haunches, and take them with their tiny paws. He could place peanuts on his knee or on the top of his head and the Squirrels would run up and grab them. The odd animal was comfortable enough to stop on his head and eat the nut right there.

If he stood close to the Pigeon Lady or the Squirrel Man the animals would allow him to do the same. On all his visits the scavenger messiahs would give him tips. Like any true professionals they were happy to share their secrets. They were happy to have the attention of wide-eyed youth. Stay very still. Think gentle thoughts. Always hold an open palm. The birds will land on an outstretched index finger if you wait long enough. Wear thick fabrics because you don't want to react to the tiny pricks of talons or claws. A bird will not peck at your eyes or face. Squirrels don't bite. Be patient. He copied the little "tasking" noise the Squirrel Man made by sucking little wisps of air through his teeth and tongue. The squirrels knew this meant, "Come here my friend I have food".

Sciurus Carolinensis are the medium to large sized tree squirrels (8 to 10 inches long with a bushy, 6 to 8 inch long tail, weighing 500 to 600 grams). Colouration ranges from a dark to pale grey body with white to pale grey underbelly and tail. The Black Squirrels abundant around here are a melanistic phase of the Eastern Grey Squirrel. Between 1876 and 1929 a pair were accidentally released from the London Zoo and the North American variant has run rampant through Europe ever since. Currently they are destroying Scottish forests and meeting little resistance. Black squirrels were imported from Ontario to Vancouver's Stanley Park Peninsula prior to 1914 and have since run amuck into the city, across to the North Shore and into the Fraser Valley. This big black species has driven out all the native chipmunks and smaller red squirrels. They are the pumped up Ninjas and beach bullies of the squirrel world. These black beauties are efficient climbers with tough curved claws, and the ability to reverse their hind foot 180 degrees to permit headfirst descent. Tails are used for balance when running and leaping between trees. He pondered the tails every day.

He had returned to this spot daily for the last eleven years, not really knowing why, and when Harold the original Squirrel Man fell on ill health and just disappeared he had become the Squirrel Man for this new generation. Although he didn't understand them in scientific terms he had plenty of time to quietly observe their behaviour. Science was unimportant. He related to them and understood what they wanted from each other and from him. He was a catalyst for accelerated symbiosis with human kind. He was close enough to them that he could often see his curved reflection in the orbs of their shiny black eyes. He had bested old Harold's trick of having the squirrels take the peanut shell from between his teeth. He had gained the animal's confidence to such a degree that he could close his hands around their torsos and gently stroke the curling plume of their tails. He did this only once or twice and then placed them at his feet so they could either scurry away with a nut or hang around for more. Tourists oohed and ahhed as if watching gentle fireworks. It was impressive. Tourists loved the creatures and marveled at their perceived domestication. The squirrels were emboldened by this love and would just as easily sit up and beg for food at the feet of any passerby. Many of them would impatiently run right up a pant leg if the patrons were too slow in dropping the peanuts or popcorn. These antics were met with gales of laughter.

Another, less visible, resident of the park was the common rat. Rattus Norvegicus. He saw them often but they were trying not to be seen. This place was perfect for them. Garbage cans were constantly full to the brim with old fries, popcorn, fruit and delicious condensed soda pop syrup. Other animals provided carrion, eggs and hatchlings for them to feast on and it was much better to sleep in the natural loam of the earth than in the attics of the West End condos. Leave that to the skunks and raccoons. If a tourist, or even a local, spied a rat their sensibilities were immediately offended. They were incredulous that, here on the edge of a giant sweaty city in a lush green park, rats might be lurking about. Wasn't that just a given? What were these idiots thinking? What was the difference between these creatures and the seagulls, pigeons, crows and squirrels? All of them carried potential diseases. All could be potential pets. He bet that there were more pet rats than there were pet squirrels. He thought of his place in the order of things and realized he was not much different than the scavengers of the park. He was tied to the organism of the city but used his theoretical independence to give more meaning to his life. He understood that this was a conceit. He was no freer than the rat. The park's visitors seemed to take their top of the food chain arrogance to heart. They were running their own shows. The yard could be well groomed and the pesticides and fumigators could make things just the way they should be in a civilized world. They were on holiday in a holiday destination and they were ready to rank this acreage out a scale of one to five stars. They would report back to their clubs and clans and cliques. Fuck them. He began to take umbrage. The anarchist spirit at the root of his malaise began to stir his guts. How could he be of use? How could he punch the Buddha in the face when he saw him on the road?

That night he went into the park at a time even the squirrels were not expecting. He brought plenty of nuts, a Mountain Equipment Co-op battery powered headlamp and a mint blue Phillips "Phillishave" HQ 6863 electric razor with sideburn trimmer. The creatures were happy to see him, as he had made sure not to feed them during the daytime. Any extra inconvenience on their part was easier to overlook in the face of hunger.

The next morning he approached his park bench with a permanent smile and some nervous excitement. He sat slowly and his animal friends began to arrive. As the tourists started to filter in the reaction began to build. At first one blood curdling scream and then a hailstorm of rhythmic shrieks and wails from all directions. It appeared just as he hoped it would appear. A man covered in huge black rats with legions of rat followers waiting at his feet. A few rogue rats begged at the feet of the visitors and all hell broke loose when the first one ran up a pant leg. They had needed the balance of the bushy tail to climb and to leap but they didn't need that balance for the easy pickings handed out by the Squirrel Man. Dr. Dolittle indeed.

Evolution of the species

"I feel like the asshole, the idiot, because I feel
like I'm distracting from the other things that
are important, like global warming and that kind
of stuff"
- Lindsay Lohan, 2007



Goodnight.

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

New season starts September 13th... this pleases me.

Clark & Michael dot com

Just click the link.

For the love of Pete, just click the link.

Clark & Michael

Now laugh, my friend. Laugh out loud. Dance like no one is listening - Sing like no one is watching - and laugh like no one is eating.

I love you all.

Silver Threads and Flatheads

Indulge me in two musical interludes, won't you?

The first is a Ronstadt clip of her shaking her ass and belting out "Silver Threads & Golden Needles" at a concert in a men's prison from a show she did with Johnny Cash (which you can buy on cd and dvd)... if I can resurrect one of the most annoying catchphrases of the 90's: Schwing!



...and now for something completely different: The second is the video for The Fratellis' "Flathead"... I got their album (cd, sorry) almost exactly a year ago when I was in the UK - it took me a couple of months to give it a spin, and now I love it more and more every listen. You probably will recognize this tune from a recent iPod ad... I love this video...go buy the cd... it kinda rules (plus it's only $7.99... I mean, come on!).



Dance baby, dance...

The five movies you meet in heaven, part five...

One of the best for last. A perfect movie.

Let some scenes speak for themselves: